2007-09-20

20 more days until my competency exam covering 3 years worth of information. As my undergrad physics professor would tell us, when asked what would be on the test, 'The sum total of human knowledge.'

I nice way to say bugger off and study.

20 more days and then I get to go off for 24 weeks of clinical rotations (internships). Basically after that test I'll really get to be alive again.

That is to say I have chosen to do this and it is my choice that I experience school in this manner.

No, that is not quite correct.

How about: I'm having an existential moment. That is, I realize that I have chosen to do this and my suffering is essentially my own fault. As everything I do IS my choice and my choice alone I have no place to complain about my current situation.

?

Part of that is true. It WAS my choice to be here. However, it was not my choice to be given this much busy work prior to the biggest test of my life. I am learning little from this busy work mainly because my focus is more on the monstrosity looming over yon hill rather than it's little minions gathered about its feet.

Either way it will be over in 20 days. I can only imagine this is what it is like to wait for an execution that you really want to happen.

I quiver in anticipation.